<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Goodbye by HopeStoryteller</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24781516">Goodbye</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeStoryteller/pseuds/HopeStoryteller'>HopeStoryteller</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>stay close (move fast) [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Zombies Run!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canton Five adopted Tony, Character Death Fix, F/F, Gender-Neutral Runner Five, Hopeful Ending, I wanted two Fives, Kinda, Nadia and Lem are mentioned, Non-Binary Runner Five, Slightly - Freeform, Spoilers up to S3M2, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Character, also they're both trans, just be careful y'all, or at least vaguely hopeful, still it is.... heavy, sue me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:13:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,815</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24781516</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeStoryteller/pseuds/HopeStoryteller</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>While one Five is celebrating her victories and mourning her losses, another is carefully arranging their own death.</p><p>At least they'll go out like a badass, and on their own terms. Sort of.</p><p>(If there was another way, they'd take it.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nadia Al Hanaki/Runner Five</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>stay close (move fast) [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1698457</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Goodbye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">“Five here,” they say with a wave and a forced smile. “Runner Five, yes it’s me, the myth, the enby, the legend, coming to you from… you know where we are?” That question’s addressed to the kid holding the camera, who only shrugs wordlessly.</p><p class="p1">“Well, somewhere in London, definitely,” Five says eventually. “Seeing as it’s bloody <em>impossible</em> to get out these days. That’s why I’m recording this message. At least this way, someone can get out, and I die on my own terms and not by someone else’s. More on that later. Don’t worry about it now. I’ll be making three recordings. This is the first one, for the Permanent Advisory Council. The second is for Lem, third’s for…” Their voice catches in their throat, but they manage to disguise it with a cough. “Nadia. Third’s for Nadia. Anyway. First up: this is the last you’ll ever be seeing of me, so my seat on the council needs to go to someone else. If you’ll take my opinion into account, I think Nadia would be a good choice. She’s one of the strongest people I know, one of the bravest, and one of the most reliable. She’s only lost two runners during the <em>entire apocalypse</em>.”</p><p class="p1">They hesitate again. “Or, well. Three runners, counting me, but I haven’t been within range of our comms for months now, and honestly none of us could have known what I’d be running into in London. Nadia embodies the principles that New Canton was founded on. If anyone can take my place, it’s her. On the Council at least. Of course, I’ll be dead by the time you hear this and therefore won’t have much input on who my replacement there is, but I figured I might as well get my two cents in. It’s not often you get to say everything you never got to before you die, and I’m going to make the most of it.”</p><p class="p1">Five looks past the camera, to Tony, raises an eyebrow. He sets down the camera as gently as he can, holds up a whiteboard with several topics on it, and crosses out <em>PERMANENT ADVISORY COUNCIL.</em> Next on the list is <em>RUNNER FIVE.</em></p><p class="p1">“Right, of course. You’ll need a new Five, seeing as I’ll be long gone. Fortunately, I’ve already got my replacement right here. Tony, come here a sec?”</p><p class="p1">“Wait, what?” Tony asks. “I don’t… you’re sure?”</p><p class="p1">Five rolls their eyes. “Damn right I’m sure. I’m on the Council until I die, and that means I can appoint new runners. My number’s got some weight behind it, of course, but you’ll be more than up to the challenge. Now come on! They need to see what you look like.”</p><p class="p1">The current Runner Five is quite visibly athletic, sporting a uniform tank top with their number, sharp blue eyes, and red-brown hair tied back in a messy braid. This visibly contrasts Tony, who hesitantly steps into view from the side in a Pokemon tee and scuffed-up jeans. He’s got dark hair, dark eyes, darker skin than Five’s tan, and he lets out a surprised yelp when Five grabs him and pulls him to the center.</p><p class="p1">“This,” Five says, “is Tony…” They look at him questioningly.</p><p class="p1">“Doesn’t matter,” Tony mumbles, a little sad.</p><p class="p1">Five pats him on the shoulder and says, “In that case, you’re getting mine, you’re basically my son at this point anyway because your parents were bloody worthless. This is Tony Fife. He’s your new Runner Five. He’s smart, fast, and most importantly resourceful as all hell. He can confirm everything I’ve said in this video. If you’d trust me, trust him. Anyway. Comansys. Diana Duncan-Petley, bloody <em>hell</em> why does she have to have so many names. Where should we start?”</p><p class="p1">“When you got to London?”</p><p class="p1">“Good call. So, there I was, on my way to St. Paul’s tube station to meet up with our contacts in London…”</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Five hits stop on the video camera, and immediately their shoulders sag. They blink hard, wipe their eyes before the tears can seep out.</p><p class="p1">“We can still find another way,” Tony says, quietly. “There <em>has</em> to be another way.”</p><p class="p1">“Not without outside help, not without more time. We don’t have outside help and whatever’s left of the rest of the world doesn’t have time. This’ll work. If Diana sees me die, with the box? She’ll forget about you, or at least assume you were there too and died with me.”</p><p class="p1">“It’ll work, she’s got the ego alright.”</p><p class="p1">Tony eyes the two boxes on the counter. One is the real zombie repellant. The other is a scarily convincing replica, to the point where Tony wouldn’t be able to tell them apart if not for Five’s marker. More specifically, they’d found a silver sharpie and wasted no time in writing “owo what’s this?” on the back of the fake. As one does.</p><p class="p1">“You shouldn’t have to die for this,” he says helplessly. “You’re the closest thing to family I’ve had in a long time. Since before the apocalypse. But I guess you figured that much out.”</p><p class="p1">“There’s not that many reasons why a kid would be on the streets before the zoms,” Five says in return. They sigh. “If it hadn’t been for my cousin, I would have been on the streets too. She talked her parents into letting me stay with them until I was on my feet again. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for her, I might not have been here today. At all. If you get what I’m saying.”</p><p class="p1">Tony nods solemnly. “And that would’ve been a right shame. Do you know if there’s… a gender-neutral term? For a parent. Besides just, parent, that’s almost worse than just calling you Five.”</p><p class="p1">“Honestly, I have no goddamn idea. But for what it’s worth, I’m honored.” They grin. “And I happen to like being called Five, but… well, Robin. That’s my name. You deserve that much.”</p><p class="p1">“Robin,” Tony repeats. “I’ll make sure you’re remembered. And that you didn’t die for nothing.”</p><p class="p1">“Of course you will. They’ll like you. New Canton has its flaws, but they’ve always been supportive in the ways that mattered. I’ve had the right pronouns used more in my couple years at New Canton than the rest of my life.”</p><p class="p1">“That’s…” Tony considers this, for a long moment. “Really, <em>really </em>good to hear.”</p><p class="p1">“Mmm.” Robin sighs, eyes the camera again. “Well, we can’t expect to keep Diana off our trail for too much longer. Now comes the hard part.”</p><p class="p1">“Telling everyone about London <em>wasn’t</em> the hard part?”</p><p class="p1">Runner Five, Robin Fife, only smiles sadly. They make no move to wipe the tears this time.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">“Hey, Lem. I’m going to keep this short, because I’m running out of time. You’d understand, you’d have done the same if you were in my shoes. But you’re not. That said... I won’t waste time on formalities.” Robin fixes the camera lens with a steely glare. “Nadia. She’s head over bloody heels for you, has been since we picked her up and you swooped in like an avenging angel, and you <em>have</em> to know she loves you. You’d be a fool not to love her back. Just… give her a chance. Please. She deserves a chance to be happy, as happy as anyone can be in this fucked up world.”</p><p class="p1">They nod to Tony, and he ends the second recording. Tony raises an eyebrow. “So who’s this Lem?”</p><p class="p1">“Runner Thirty-Eight,” Robin says. They sigh, shake their head. “What a guy. What a bloody guy. If I was into guys, I’d be into him. He’s just too bloody perfect, is what he is, and he’s either oblivious to Nadia or he just doesn’t like her and he can’t possibly <em>not</em> like her, she’s <em>Nadia.</em> She’s…”</p><p class="p1">They choke back a sob, throw their head back and stare at the ceiling morosely. Eventually they say, in a smaller voice, “I need to do Nadia’s message now. Otherwise I’ll chicken out. It’s bloody ridiculous, it won’t matter soon anyway if she doesn’t feel the same, and I <em>know</em> she doesn’t feel the same, otherwise I would have said something sooner. But it’s too late now.”</p><p class="p1">“Right,” Tony whispers. He hits record.</p><p class="p1">“Nadia. I know you’re going to blame yourself for what happened to me. You <em>can’t blame yourself</em>. You <em>can’t</em>. It wasn’t your fault. You’re the best bloody radio operator anyone could ever want. You’ve saved my life, everyone’s lives so, so many times. You’ve done amazing. You’ll continue to do amazing. I was lucky to have you as a radio operator. I was so, <em>so</em> lucky to have you as a friend, and I—“</p><p class="p1">Their voice cracks. They sniffle. “I wish things could have worked, with us. You deserve to know, Nadia—I love you. Do you know what love is, really? It’s wanting someone else to be happy. Wanting the best for them. And you deserve the best. If I didn’t know so bloody well you love Lem, that you never saw me as more than a friend, I would have told you long ago.”</p><p class="p1">Five sighs. “You deserve to know. And you deserve to be happy. If Lem doesn’t work out, you’ll find someone else, I <em>know</em> you will. Just…” They blink back tears with a limited amount of success. Dark blue eyes glimmer in the growing daylight, filling the room from the uncovered window.</p><p class="p1">They’ll have to go soon.</p><p class="p1">They’ll have to go soon, and yet there’s still so much they want to tell Nadia. But they’ll never see her again, so the essentials are what’s needed here. The essentials, and nothing more.</p><p class="p1">“Thank you,” Five says at last. “For everything.” They nod to Tony, who hits the record button for the last time.</p><p class="p1">“She’s still going to blame herself,” they continue, even as they get up, grab their pack and (currently useless) headset, and stuff the decoy box into it. “You have to make sure she doesn’t. That she knows, there was nothing she could have done, and I don’t want her to blame herself. Alright?”</p><p class="p1">“I’ll do my best,” Tony says uneasily. “I should warn you, I’ve never been good at… that. Stuff. Comforting people.”</p><p class="p1">“You’ll do alright, kiddo.” Robin strides across the room, picks up the camera. They close it and , after a moment’s hesitation, hand it to Tony. He stuffs it in his own pack. “You remember where to go?”</p><p class="p1">“North and east,” Tony repeats. “Look for people in your uniform, tell them I knew you and sent a message. Show off the box if I have to.”</p><p class="p1">“Perfect.” Robin blinks hard. “Anyway. Diana won’t wait all day. And, you know, as far as dying goes? Going out in a blaze of glory is one bloody badass way to go.”</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">They can’t feel their arm. They can’t feel their arm, and everything hurts.</p><p class="p1">It’s not supposed to hurt anymore once you’re dead.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You'll see Canton Five again. Mainly because I got all invested in making another Five, and then Robin went and blew themself up. But it's okay. It's fine. There wasn't a body. Therefore: I do what I want.</p><p>Everyone please welcome another gay disaster to the stage</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>